Will someone do something about the British weather please?

Everything in the UK is great - except for the weather.

I mean - here we were, enjoying perfectly fine weather sunning it out in the 25 degree heat, and the next day, it pours like a thingummy-come-torrential-flood. Someone should tell the weatherman (or the weather-woman in these days of political correctness) to just make up his (or her) mind.

The worst part of the rain is my utter helplessness in mowing my lawn. If it pours for days on end, the grass starts growing faster, and in all its wet resplendence it defies the blades of my lawn-mower.

Of course, right now my lawn looks like some tropical jungle. This is because while the sun was shining I was out cycling on the canal tow-path. And now that the rain has announced itself as the main deterrent to any lawn-mowing desires I had left, I am unable to swing a blade in its direction.

When I was holidaying in India, I got used to walking around in bermudas, t-shirts and flip-flops at 9PM in January. I was just about getting used to doing that last week, and the weatherman (er - the woman?) decided to turn.

I must admit - Lord Sutch of the ex-Monster-Loony-Raving-Party had made an election promise that, if practically possible, would have made me vote for him and no one else.

He had made an attractive promise in one of his manifestos, way back in the 1990s. The Party had declared that if it was elected, it would tie a rope around Cornwall and tug the British Isles back by 20 degrees South. The idea was for us rain-harrassed and cloud-covered Brits to have the same weather as sunny Spain.

If only that was possible, Britain would be the best place one could ever wish for!

And if wishes were horses, beggars would ride....